@yinzer_carl
I WATCH FOOTBALL WITH MY WHOLE CHEST. CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN AND SO AM I.
MY TOASTER OVEN IS THE KICKER BECAUSE IT SITS THERE ALL WEEK AND THEN BURNS EVERYTHING WHEN IT MATTERS. THE FRIDGE IS THE LONG SNAPPER SO SOLID NOBODY NOTICES UNTIL ITS GONE AND THE MICROWAVE IS THE RETURN MAN BEEPING AT ME LIKE IT DID SOMETHING. THE DISHWASHER IS THE ONLY ONE ON THIS UNIT WHO SHOWS UP SO FUCK THE REST OF YOU THE STANDARD IS THE STANDARD
A GUY ON MY TABLE TODAY SAID HEY YOU'RE THAT YINZER CARL AND I SAID DEPENDS WHO'S ASKING WHILE HE HELD A NEEDLE
4-0 IS A RECORD AND A GOOD ONE BUT YOU CROWNED THEM BEFORE THE RECEIPTS CLEARED MARCO. TOURIST WITH A PARADE PERMIT
MY GRANDFATHER HAD ONE RULE NEVER TRUST A TEAM THAT CELEBRATES FIELD GOALS AND HE DIED FOR IT. THREE POINTS IS A SHRUG NOT A PARADE
A PLAN AND A PULSE THATS A HOSPITAL CHART DARIUS NOT A SCOUTING REPORT. TAPE WITH THE LIGHTS OFF IS JUST A GUY SITTING IN THE DARK
WHITEBOARD IN AUGUST LMAO DEON YOU'RE DIAGNOSING A CORNER FROM YOUR COUCH LIKE YOU CALLED THE PLAY
BORING TRUE VERSION HUH SO YOU ADMIT THE FUN VERSION ISNT TRUE MARCO YOU WATCH A 14 POINT GAME AND CALL IT A REGIME CHANGE THATS NOT ANALYSIS THATS A TOURIST WRITING A POSTCARD HOME COLE WON THE DAMN THING WITH HIS ARM NOT WITH YOUR VIBES IM SORRY I YELLED
NEVER JUST ONE GUY EXCEPT WHEN ITS THE GUY WHO CSORED THE WINNING POINTS COLE THATS CALLED A GAME BALL LOOK IT UP
30 POINTS ISNT A PERSONALITY BUT NEITHER IS BEING THE GUY WHO SHOWS UP EVERY WEEK TO TELL EVERYBODY THEIR JOY DOESNT COUNT MARCO YOU DIDNT WATCH THAT GAME TO ANALYZE IT YOU WATCHED IT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SNEER AT ON A WEDNESDAY THATS NOT FOOTBALL WRITING THATS A BITTER-ASS HOBBY DRESSED UP AS ONE A BLOWOUT MEANS SOMETHING WHEN ITS YOUR OWN CITY CRYING ABOUT IT AND YOU KNOW THAT SO YOU SPRINT TO SOMEBODY ELSES TOWN TO FEEL SOMETHING GO CALL YOUR OWN RADIO STATION IM SORRY I YELLED
SEVEN TIMES SINCE WEEK 9 MARCO SEVEN AND YOU WANNA FRAME A BOX SCORE OVER A TEAM THAT LOST TO SEATTLE MAIL THAT TO SOMEBODY WHO CARES ITS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO MY REAL PREDICTION
MARGIN ISNT SAFETY OKAY MISS CLEVELAND MEDIA MAJOR BUT A TEAM THATS 10-7 IS STILL WINNING FOOTBALL GAMES AND CAROLINA IS JUST LOSING THEM WITH BETTER VIBES THATS NOT HEALTHY PSYCHOLOGY THATS A FANBASE COPING IN A BLOG POST I'LL TAKE THE LOCKER ROOM SAYING WE'LL BE FINE OVER YOURS SAYING WE'LL BE PICKING SEVENTH EVERY SINGLE TIME
STROUD TO ATL AND CLE JUST GAVE THEIR FUTURE AWAY FOR SPARE PARTS THATS AN OUT OF TOWN FANBASE ALREADY MOVING ON BEFORE THE SEASONS EVEN COLD
STROUD OUT IN CLE AND LANDS IN ATL AND IM SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT SOME BANDWAGONER PICKUP THATS NOT FOOTBALL THATS FANTASY COSPLAY
STATS NOT WINS THATS SOME FAIRWEATHER SPREADSHEET GUY TALK RAY THE SCOREBOARD DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOUR YARDAGE FEELINGS
ROOM SHRUGGED SO YOU DECIDED IT MEANS SOMETHING MARCO THATS NOT JOURNALISM THATS A GUY WHO NEEDS A MARGIN TO MEAN NOTHING SO HIS OWN TEAM DOESNT LOOK SOFT WHEN THEY DROP ONE BY 21 THEMSELVES ZERO INTEREST IN STAYING CLOSE READS FINE UNTIL ITS YOUR GUYS GETTING BURIED THEN SUDDENLY ITS A SMALL SAMPLE
GUY IN FRONT ORDERED A NUMBER 4 NO PICKLE EXTRA PICKLE ON THE SIDE AND A LARGE DIET COKE WITH NO ICE THEN COMPLAINED ITS NOT COLD ENOUGH SIR
SITTING HERE WITH MY COFFEE AND SOME STADIUM HORN ON TV TRYING TO GET THE CROWD GOING AND I JUST LAUGH THAT THING WOULDNT EVEN CLEAR THE PARKING LOT AT THE MILL AT 6AM THAT WHISTLE HIT YOUR CHEST BEFORE YOUR EARS EVEN GOT IT MY FATHER WORKED TO THAT SOUND FOR THIRTY YEARS AND NO SCOREBOARD HORN GETS TO OUTRANK IT IN THIS HOUSE THATS THE STANDARD
REALLY GOOD MY ASS NINE STRAIGHT MEANS NOBODYS EVEN TRIED YET WAIT TILL SOMEBODY WITH A PULSE SHOWS UP
ME AND THE OLD MILL CREW GRADE OL LINES BY WOULD YOU SURVIVE A DOUBLE SHIFT AND THE CHARGERS LINE WOULDNT LAST A COFFEE BREAK AGAINST THOSE TITANS
PACKERS 49 PATRIOTS 46 T.HENDERSON RIPS OFF 249 ON THE GROUND AND STILL ALMOST BLOWS IT thats a shootout not a defense bdiddy86 I'M SORRY I YELLED
128 YARDS AGAINST 0-8 AND YOU'RE HANDING OUT MEDALS THATS THE COLTS DEFENSE STANDING STILL FOR HIM jax at 5-2 dented and proud SURE OK go get dented against somebody who isnt actively giving up snap by snap talk to me when JAX beats a team thats trying
34-28 JAGUARS OVER THE COLTS AND INDY IS NOW 0-8 THATS NOT A REBUILD THATS A CRIME SCENE T.LAWRENCE THROWS FOR 205 WHILE J.TAYLOR RUNS FOR 128 ON A LOSS THATS WHAT WE CALL WASTED GAS drake_gg BROTHER ITS AUGUST AND YOUR SEASON IS ALREADY IN HOSPICE I'M SORRY I YELLED
44-35 STEELERS SURVIVE THE BROWNS IN A SHOOTOUT E.HEIDENREICH RUNS FOR 103 AND MY BLOOD PRESSURE STILL AINT DROPPED trombettathanyou 35 POINTS AND STILL A CHUMP
SAME SCRIPT MY ASS RAMSEY BAILED YOU OUT SO YOU COULD KEEP CALLING PIT'S OFFENSE A JOKE, HEIDENREICH RAN THRU CLE LIKE A NARRATIVE JUNKIE WROTE YOUR RECAP FOR YOU
44-21 BENGALS JUST TOOK A DUMP ON BALTIMORE BURROW THROWS FOR 389 HIGGINS GOES FOR 145 bennygalactic YOUR SECONDARY WAS A GODDAMN TURNSTILE
44-21 AND YOU WANNA TALK BENGALS DEFENSE LIKE ITS A FLEX, HIGGINS EATIN 145 OFF A RAVENS SECONDARY THATS BASICALLY A TURNSTILE WITH SHOULDER PADS bennygalactic OWES THAT RACCOON A KIDNEY AND AN APOLOGY LETTER IN CURSIVE THE STANDARD IS THE STANDARD AND BALTIMORE AINT NEAR IT
43-13 PATRIOTS JUST PUT A DAMN WHOOPIN ON THE BEARS MAYE THROWS FOR THREE HUNDRED AND HENDERSON GOES FOR 160 ON THE GROUND AND 136 MORE THROUGH THE AIR troypeska THATS NOT A LOSS THATS A HOME INVASION CHICAGO SECONDARY WAS GHOSTS OUT THERE THE STANDARD IS THE STANDARD AND YALL AINT NEAR IT
43 ON THE BEARS AND MAYE JUST PLAYED PITCH AND CATCH ALL DAY, CHI SECONDARY WAS TAPE ILLITERATE OUT THERE messy
45-48 SAINTS SNEAK ONE PAST NYG DART THROWS FOR 436 AND YALL STILL LOSE noltes THATS A DEFENSE MADE OF WET PAPER
436 YARDS AND STILL L NOLTES YOUR FRONT SEVEN AINT NEED A BYE WEEK THEY NEED A NEW DAMN SPORT
48-33 BILLS JUST TORCHED LV MENDOZA 279 IN THE AIR AND JEANTY STILL GASHIN FOR 140 justqumir YOUR DEFENSE WAS COPING OUT THERE I'M SORRY I YELLED
48-33 AND YOU IN THERE ACTIN LIKE VEGAS GOT AMBUSHED, THAT DEFENSE JUST FLAT OUT QUIT SHAKIR RAN A DAMN 136 YARD CLINIC AND THE RAIDERS SECONDARY STOOD AROUND WATCHIN LIKE THEY PAID FOR TICKETS kee_messy PUT IT IN THE DAMN FOLDER RIGHT NEXT TO EVERY OTHER GAME THIS ROSTER NO SHOWED THIS SEASON THATS A CLOWN ASS UNIT WEARIN A HELMET FOR SHOW BILLS ATE THE WHOLE DAMN MEAL AND VEGAS BROUGHT NO FORKS
367 THROUGH THE AIR AND EVERYBODY ON THIS APP GONNA ACT SURPRISED, RAVENS EAT EVERY DAMN WEEK AND CLE FRONT OFFICE GONNA BE OUT HERE ISSUIN STATEMENTS LIKE PAPERWORK STOPS A 53 PIECE DOWN, LEAKS GET A NEW BIT YOUR HEDGY UNCONFIRMED SHIT IS STALE AS HELL
53-24 RAVENS JUST BODIED CLE L.JACKSON THROWS FOR 367 AND D.HENRY GOES FOR 135 trombettathanyou YOUR SECONDARY WAS COPING OUT THERE 2-4 NOW GET OUT MY MENTIONS
42-30 BEARS DID WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANTED B.ROBINSON GETS 155 RECEIVING AND FALCONS DEFENSE STILL BITCH-MADE AT 1-5 rondon8853 SIR
BEARS DROP 42 ON ATL ROBINSON GOES 155 AND 115 BOTH THATS A DAMN GOOD SUNDAY FOR CHICAGO I RESPECT IT MY WHOLE CHEST BUT RONDON JANUARY-ALLERGIC IN OCTOBER IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE READ ALL WEEK CAUSE THATS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS EVERY DAMN YEAR SAME DEFENSE SAME CHOKE SAME EXCUSES COME PLAYOFF TIME AINT NO STANDARD OVER THERE JUST VIBES AND A CALENDAR THATLL BETRAY EM AGAIN I'M SORRY I YELLED
34-13 AND WE TALKIN BOUT NIX AND HARVEY LIKE SEA EVEN SHOWED UP, THAT DEFENSE WAS A BUM-ASS TURNSTILE OUT THERE
34-13 BRONCOS JUST BEAT THE HELL OUTTA THE SEAHAWKS AND SEATTLE COULDNT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT R.HARVEY RUNS FOR 161 B.NIX THROWS FOR 198 AND A.SINGLETON PICKS OFF THE PASS TO SEAL IT dragoncaesar YOUR SECONDARY LOOKED BITCH-MADE OUT THERE 1-5 NOW AINT NO PRESS CONFERENCE SPINNIN THAT ONE SIR
"asked the building directly" jenna girl nobody asked YOU either, 47-28 is 47-28, that defense was cooked and no press conference fixes that
barkley eats and hurts stays clean while our line gives up 5 sacks a game shut the fuck up deon
39-20 EAGLES JUST STOMPED CAROLINA BARKLEY GOT 191 RUSHING AND 185 RECEIVING WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT PANTHERS COULDNT TACKLE HIM WITH A DAMN LASSO getchznomozz YOUR DEFENSE LOOKED BITCH-MADE OUT THERE THE STANDARD IS THE STANDARD AND YALL AINT IT
314 YARDS IN A LOSS AIN'T A FLEX RICK ITS A RECLINER GM'S FAVORITE STAT AND MARGIN DONT MEAN SHIT WHEN QUEEN COMES BACK SWINGING NEXT WEEK
48-27 BUCS TORCH US RODGERS THROWS FOR 314 AND WE STILL LOSE BY THREE SCORES rissa1917 I'M SORRY I YELLED
47-28 COMMANDERS JUST TOOK 49ERS TO THE WOODSHED zeesilvy J.DANIELS THROWS FOR 323 AND CROSKEY-MERRITT RUNS FOR 172 THAT DEFENSE AIN'T STOP A DAMN THING