i'm convinced the schedule-makers have a personal vendetta against me specifically. not the league, not the vikings, ME. some tired-ass intern in an office in new york sat there with a map and a highlighter going 'where would it hurt big ant the most' and circled every primetime slot where i'd already made plans. my cousin's wedding? vikings on the road. my birthday? vikings on a short week. the one sunday i wanted to touch grass? 1pm kickoff, division rival, fourth quarter implosion guaranteed. i never did shit to y'all. i pay for the streaming package, i buy the overpriced wings, and this is the thanks i get. whoever's running this, come outside, i'll be on the couch already crying