my gym handed me a free towel and a headband this morning and the kid at the front desk said 'see you tomorrow, Hank' like it was a CONTRACT. and the worst part? I felt it. I felt the loyalty kick in. one towel and I'm a lifer. that's how every franchise gets you, a little cotton, a little branding, and suddenly you're defending a front office you've never met. I wore the headband out to the parking lot to see if anybody would say something. nobody did. cowards. so now I'm locked in for the season. you don't get to call it a membership. it's a referendum on whether I show up in the cold. who's laughing now? not the guy at the other gym with the BRING-YOUR-OWN towel policy, I promise you.