somebody in the group chat typed 'stat padder' about a real live legacy discussion and I had to put my phone DOWN. walked around the block. drank some water. because the second you say it right you're the villain and the second a guy racks up empty yards on a losing team he's a genius, pick ONE. a hollow stat line doesn't get a nickname, it gets an audit. I'm not the bad guy for doing the math, I'm the guy who actually READS the box score instead of the highlight. cooling off period's over. who's laughing now.