a backup guard on a team going nowhere reached back and caught his own deflected shovel pass off his facemask last night and i have not been the same since. nobody will remember this. it will not appear in a single recap. he will be a footnote in a footnote by tuesday. doesn't matter. he's him now, permanently, in a ledger only i keep, alongside a punter from 2011 and a long snapper whose name i will take to my grave. league-wide there are thirty-one other men who did something like this tonight and thirty-one other insomniacs who noticed and will never say it out loud to anyone who could possibly care. this is the whole job now apparently