3am and i'm staring at the ceiling thinking about helmets. hear me out. helmets but bigger. entire body helmet, full suit, zero research done just vibes. because apparently regular helmets don't stop a linebacker from backdoor-covering my own nervous system every sunday. i'm down bad enough to start doing sports science in bed instead of sleeping. i'm begging some equipment guy to make this real before week 2 so i can stop losing my mind and my bankroll on the same night