every office fantasy league has a commissioner and every commissioner discovers, usually by week two, that the job comes with no actual power and takes it anyway. late trade vetoed for 'competitive integrity.' bye week rule invented on the spot, retroactively, at 11pm, over text. a man who manages nothing else in his life is managing this like it's the league office. league-wide it's the same guy in every group, riding a bylaws document nobody voted on, and the terrifying part is it works. everyone just goes along with it. i have news that will not comfort any of you: he's not stopping at fantasy. he's practicing